Motherhood Diaries - Alisha de Graaf
This Mother’s Day, ToniMay continues its celebration of the profound and enduring love of mothers.
Alisha, co-owner of ToniMay, shares her deeply personal insights into the realities, joys, and challenges of motherhood, and the inspiration behind our limited edition Mother’s Day collection.
Motherhood: Relentless, Rewarding, and Full of Joy
Alisha describes motherhood as a journey far beyond her expectations. It's a role that demands everything, yet gives back infinitely more.
"I think motherhood is far more than what I anticipated it to be. It is relentless and unforgiving but it is also the most rewarding job that I have ever had and I didn't expect to find so much happiness and joy in it". Her favourite aspect? "That there's two little humans in the world that love me without question."
For Alisha, Mother's Day is a moment for self-acknowledgement and appreciation. "Mother's Day is a day that I can celebrate myself, for bringing the kids into the world and being the best mum I can be. It is a day I can give myself a high-five for everything that I have done for them." It's also a day to honour the incredible mothers in her life, from her own mum to her close friends who are also mum's, celebrating their dedication and love.
The Power of a Village and a Mother's Identity
Alisha emphasises the critical role of community in her motherhood journey. "It really does take a village and that doesn't necessarily have to be family, it can be the community that you create." Surrounding herself with inspirational and motivated mums provides a vital support system.
She also champions the importance of maintaining an identity outside of motherhood. "I think it's really important to have an identity outside of being a mum because that shows your children that you can do all of the things, you can be a mum, you can run a business..." This dual identity, she believes, strengthens both the mother and her relationship with her children.
Q&A with Alisha de Graaf
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT BEING A MUM?
My favourite thing about being a mum is that there's two little humans in the world that love me without question.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE MOTHERHOOD?
I think motherhood is far more than what I anticipated it to be. It is relentless and unforgiving but it is also the most rewarding job that I have ever had and I didn't expect to find so much happiness and joy in it.
WHAT DOES MOTHER'S DAY MEAN TO YOU?
Mother's Day means is a day I can celebrate myself, for bringing my kids into the world. But it is also a day to celebrate all mum's and the amazing work that they do in raising their children, being there for them and strengthening the love they have every single day.
HOW DO YOU BALANCE YOUR WORK AT TONIMAY WITH BEING A MUM?
It is a juggle, but I love being able to balance work and mum life. I love having my independence to work and running ToniMay, but I also love being a mum. I feel like I have these two big lives that sit alongside each other...
My brain will never switch off thinking about the kids. But I also get this wonderful balance of being able to do something for myself.
DO YOU EVER EXPERIENCE 'MUM GUILT'?
Mum guilt is definitely a thing and it's not always an easy juggle.
It's not always easy to jump off emails or put the phone down and just sit and be present with them when they're having a tantrum or have yelled out 'mum watch this' for the 100th time. The mum guilt creeps in as your realize they are only small and want your attention because they love and need you.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO HAVE A 'VILLAGE' OR COMMUNITY AS A MOTHER?
It really does take a village and that doesn't necessarily have to be family, it can be the community that you create around you. It has become very important to me that I surround myself with other mums who are in a similar stage of life, doing fantastic things for themselves and their children. Building that base of friendships with other parents and mum's is so important as we all face similar challenges and experiences, and we have each other to lean on.
WHAT DOES THE INFINITY SYMBOL IN OUR MOTHER'S DAY COLLECTION REPRESENT TO YOU?
For me, it captures everything that motherhood is. It's this endless love. It's this endless role that you step into... A love and role in life that is infinite.
"I think motherhood is far more than what I anticipated it to be. It is like relentless and unforgiving but it is also like the most rewarding job that I have ever had and I didn't expect to find so much happiness and joy in it."
- Alisha de Graaf
